Well after my little rant, about being in a rut I feel much better! Sometimes a girls just gotta admit that things don't always go her way!
Another good nights sleep - 7.5 - 8 hours, Yay!
Great shoulders training this morning and 20mins on the bike.
Eating, well under control
Motivation, is high. Happy to be me, just learning how to control myself again. Knowing when I'm hungry, what I'm hungry for and not eating more than I need. It feels good.
Work is stressfull currently and from tomorrow I will be staying in a Hotel and won't be back at work till next Thursday. I won't be able to post anything here or check up on my Fav. Bloggers - but I will have heaps to read and will enjoy catching up on everyones blogs.
Had a good nights sleep, 7.5 hours (will aim for 8 tonight).
Woke up with a great attitude, and took it to the gym this morning for a great BACK training session and just 20mins Incline on the T/Mill for cardio. I felt pretty strong for the first time in a long time!
Just been to the dentist for the 2nd part of my root canal... so half my face is numb! And half my tongue feels too big for my mouth.
I guess I just needed to vent out my frustrations in my previous post! I'm sure it'll take more than 1 good nights sleep to be back on track and guns blazing, but its a process and a challenge.
Work is crazy busy. I'm stressed. I'm still not motivated - I'd rather lurk on websites and read blogs than actually work! So at the end of every day I'm frantically working or I work late (last night was to 8pm).
I'm just too hot - the weather is muggy and gross! I have no energy. I'm still just going through the motions.
Jason is working about 2 hours from home - he won't be home till Saturday and I'm working right through the weekend, so I guess I'll see him for a few hours only. Then he's back up north again for another week at least. I found it hard to get to sleep last night, I think it was too quiet (no chain saw snoring from Jason). I didn't sleep well and woke up sore and with a headache too. Went to gym but wasn't focused so just did 25 mins T/mill hill walk & 25min Bike.
My diet plan was great over the weekend, actually droped 2 kgs of bloating etc just by eating right and drinking water! Then my hard work was undone by stress eating at work, snaking! I'm my own worst enemy.
I look in the mirror and I want to get everything focused and back on track. The only thing stopping me is that I feel like I have not had a rest and have not stopped thinking about competing, training and diet. I feel like if I stop doing something (anything even if it's just going through the motions) I will loose my muscle and gain more fat. I'm conflicted.
I got an invitation to compete in the Asia/Pacific Champs in April this year - that's pretty cool. But I am not happy with this being my starting point, I don't want to diet down hard and not show my best package. My main goal is to do Nationals again and that is in October!
Right now I also don't feel strong enough to compete on my own. I need my best friend with me, training and dieting along with me! And Jason will only be doing Nationals. If I was someone else reading this blog, I'd think I was weak for needing the support of Jason preping right along with me. But right now this is what it is, this is how it works for me. Maybe 1 day I'll do it on my own, but so far we have come a long way as a team. I used to think I was very individual and needed no-one, but sometimes it seems the opposite. This is a team effort!
I guess what I'm saying is: I'M IN A RUT! But 1 day soon I'll wake up and things will fall into place like they always do. I'm so keen to do Nationals - I just wish they were sooner. I know that this year with my training and dieting I will do so well, I think that as soon as it 'clicks' (closer to the time) it'll be all on. I will be the best version of me yet in 2009.
Now I'd like to put into writing an Epiphany I had a few days ago:
I am allergic to all the 'junk' that I eat. After I eat it, I feel sick, tired and gross. The allergic reaction my body has is to put on fat. It is poison to my system.
Now I know that it is poison to my body, I should just stop putting it in my system. It's not like banning foods and saying they are bad - it's more a realisation that if I have certain foods my body will react in a negative way (much like an allergic reaction).
Does that make sense? Your thoughts my dear blogger friends...
So I read back in my blog to Jan/Feb 2008 and 2007 and it seems I am FULL CIRCLE yet again.
Compete - relax - no diet - gain weight - gain too much weight - try to get back on the wagon for the best part of the year and the 12 weeks out from a comp my mind focusses and I manage to compete again... then the cycle repeats.
I really thought I had contol in November I was still training hard and maintaining a happy weight between 2-3 kgs over what I was on stage and I looked great! Then I cut back a bit but still dieted and was between 3-4kgs over stage weight.
BUT THEN... I was off training for over 2 weeks with my Quads problems 'Compartment syndrome' and I felt sorry for myself and I ate and I enjoyed Christmas and relaxing, I still went to the gym pretty much everyday but the good work was undone by not following any kind of diet and just eating way too much if fact eating when not hungry - out of boredom is a major issue!
I am a figure competitor and I love it! It's hard and challenging - but I love proving how strong I am. But right now I have lost my spark! When is it? hmmmm I just look fat.
I am a figure competitor and right now I think I should prove something to myself! I don't have to be fat! I don't have to be so lean people worry about me either!
I hate to read about Figure and BB girls who just like me have a hard time post comp (it's a reality of this sport) and these girls keep coming up with all these diets and plans and weigh themselves everyday, but only stick with the plans for 2-3 days and then try something else... I mean it all sounds good on paper but if you don't follow through you won't get results!
I know what works for me:
IN THE GYM EVERYDAY:
45-1hour Cardio AM
45-1 hour weight training PM
30-45min Cardio PM
Oats, Shake, egg white
Fish or Chicken + 1 rice cake
Fish or Chicken + 1 rice cake + 1 cup green veg
Fish or Chicken + 2 cup green veg
Fish or Chicken + 2 cups green veg
Protein Shake (water & ice)
See it's simple - but it's hard to actually pull off for too long without stuffing up your work or personal life. I'm willing to do this for 6-12 weeks out of the year depending on how far out I need to diet hard, it's all part of it, but when you know that your competition is months and months away it's hard not to say to yourself..."what the hell not like I'm hitting the stage anytime soon... so let's eat" More like lets get fat and pretend like I'm ok with it. HA
3 other things that work for me: Drinking lots of water + chewing gum...
And not eating processed foods esp. protein bars, as much as I love em, it opens up a whole lot of bad eating options, best to eliminate all processed foods as best I can!
So I think that not starting Monday - but starting tomorrow I am going to go all out for a week, just to loose a bit of chub! And see how it goes. I know that if I commit to eating plain I feel so much better and life is so much better. Why only a week? It'll be longer but I think baby steps are in order to fix the off season damage I have done.
DIET - LOW CARB
M1: Oats. Egg White. Shake
M2: Tuna+3 egg white Pancake or Protein Pancakes
M3: Chicken or Fish, large serving of shreded cabbage
M4: Chicken or Fish or Tuna/3 egg white pancake
M5: Chicken or Fish + large serving of shreded cabbage or Broc
M6: Protein Shake
TRAINING - Lifting days = 40mins lifting + 20 mins cardio (bike or T/Mill)
Cardio days = 60mins cardio (Fat burning, either bike or T/Mill hills walking)
Things I want to at the very least update once a week on my blog - the list will grow or shrink depending on how important they are
My random act of kindness
Ok I'm not sure what counts as a 'R.A.O.K' I mean it sounds easy enough but what are the rules? Is it just helping someone at work? Is it smiling or talking to people, does it have to involve money? Do you have to be strangers?
I am thankful that I have a permenant job! As far as I can tell they don't want to get rid of me yet... who knows. It seems nearly everyday there is another large company laying off workers.
I'm thankfull that while Jason isn't working as much, he is able to train with me in the mornings. I don't really like having training partners (not that I've really tried), but I feel better about my workouts when I'm self motivated. Although it is a nice change from time to time. At lease with Jason we pretty much know each others working style so it's pretty smooth.
Feeling/Mood I'm happy, calm and relaxed. Going through periods of motivation and non-motivation. It seems ages away until I will compete again, so I let things slide. I know this and I know better, but currently I'm choosing to relax a bit.
Sleep Overall my sleep has been average, it's really hot at night and sometimes it takes a while to drift off.
Body image Oh what competitor likes their body off season? Not really me, there are times I like a bit more meat on me and I feel good, but honestly I don't think I suit being big and soft! Not when I know how good I look and feel when I'm smaller. Either way, I am honest enough to know that there is no need to confirm the numbers on the scale. So I've not weighed myself in quite some time!
Diet / Appetite Mon=ON: On plan but hungry
Tues=ON: On plan
Wednesday= OFF: Really bored and hungry - broke off plan
Thurs= OFF: Energy levels really low - but ate on plan
Friday= ON/OFF:Ate on plan until I finished work and came home - had a muslie bar
Saturday = ON: little to no appetite had small serving and shakes
Sunday = ON: Had larger serves of protein
Energy levels Overall Low
Mon: Back + 20min cardio
Tuesday: Hill walk (instead of legs) 1 hour
Wednesday:Chest + 20min cardio
Thursday: Cardio 1hour
Saturday: Cardio 1 hour
Sunday: Cardio 1hour
Monday (today) Arms + 20 min cardio
Overall rating of my week: 5/10 neither good nor bad, certainly not outstanding. It's really hot and the temp is getting to me, I'm feeling uncomfortable - which isn't helped by the fact that my clothing is kinda tight around the waist band when only 8 weeks ago the same items coudln't be warn because they were too big... ok that's not a good way to end my blog. But I'm real. And it's good that I've left room for improvement, wouldn't want a 10/10 on the first full week back - I have a year to achieve higher ratings.
NZ Figure Competitor for NABBA Federation.
I love training and living the BodyBuilding lifestyle. There are always ups and downs, but documenting this is what my blog is for
May 2007 - 1st Novice Figure Auckland
October 2007 - 1st Novice Figure Tall North Harbour
October 2008 - 1st Novice Figure Tall NZ Champs
November 2008 - 2nd Open Figure North Harbour (NZ Nationald Qualifier for 2009)
25 Oct 2009 2nd Open Figure Tall
31 OCT 2009 - 2nd Open Figure North Harbour (NZ Nationald Qualifier for 2010)
So look out - I'll be even better for NZ 2009 Nationals! BRING IT ON!